She Got Me
The Teacher a Student Never Forgets
“It was my third-grade teacher. She got me,” said Miss Taylor during her interview for a teaching position.
Her response was not “She got to me” or “She forgot me.” It was clearly stated: “She GOT me.”Miss Taylor paused before continuing, “She really understood me.”
After another pause, she reached for the tissue in the middle of the table. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Miss Taylor continued, “It was a difficult year for me because my parents divorced and my mother and I moved to a new city. But my third-grade teacher, Miss Olivia, seemed to be the only person in the world that understood what I was going through. Each morning, she told me, ‘I’m so pleased to see you today.’”
Miss Olivia could not change what was happening in Taylor's life outside of school. But each morning, she could remind a frightened third grader that there was one place where she belonged. Through unconditional acceptance—and an understanding of the anxiety and trauma students may carry—teachers earn trust and respect. Creating a sense of belonging means being there for students, each day of the school year. As that sense of belonging grows, so does the teacher's understanding of each student.
During her interview, Miss Taylor’s gratitude and admiration for Miss Olivia foreshadowed the teacher she would become. Within the first few days of the school year, that promise became evident. During her interview, Miss Taylor was unaware that she would be inheriting several fourth-grade students whose adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) provided important context for their academic struggles and sometimes-defiant behavior. In response to an inquiry by a colleague about her students, Miss Taylor described them as “sweet and sensitive, and a few of the boys need love and compassion to build their self-esteem.” Others might have begun with their deficiencies. Miss Taylor began with their humanity.
At Back-to-School night, Miss Taylor greeted her guests as they entered the classroom with a genuine welcome and her infectious smile. She thanked them for attending, then asked the parents to introduce themselves. She followed up each introduction with a positive anecdote about their child. Her ease and hospitality offered a glimpse of the classroom culture she was creating.
Miss Taylor previewed the fourth-grade objectives, social and personal goals, community objectives, and scholarly work. She focused on the importance of ten-year-old students growing in self-confidence and positive self-image. Miss Taylor described qualities and characteristics she hoped the students would develop through a culture of empathy and compassion.
“Each day your child will feel a true sense of belonging.” She paused, then said, “I promise: your child will love learning, and your child will be loved.”
Miss Taylor’s sincerity earned her a generous ovation. As the parents exited the classroom, Miss Taylor, standing by the door, thanked each parent by name.
“I too am inspired by your talk,” said her principal. “By the way, how did you learn to memorize the parents’ names so easily?”
“Oh, just a little trick I learned from Miss Olivia,” she said. “But it does take some practice.”
Parker Palmer, teacher and author, could have been describing Miss Taylor when he wrote:
“Good teachers infuse their work with a strong sense of personal identity . . . good teachers join self and subject and students in the fabric of life . . . good teachers possess a capacity for connectedness.”